he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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