He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
