we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
