I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
