positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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