Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
