She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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