you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
