whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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