Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
