dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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