his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
