I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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