The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
