Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
