her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you win again, gameday.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize