so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
