dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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