Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Are we still banned from the library?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
