she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
