i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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