god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
