Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
