Me. At least after what I've been through.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize