yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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