i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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