And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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