Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
