Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
