OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
