bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
