The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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