Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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