Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
