It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
