Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
