Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
