You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
