are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
