I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
