I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
