The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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