Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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