Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
