wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
