im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
