roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize