Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
