At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
