How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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