Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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