oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize