i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You're like the curious george of whores
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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