Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
