I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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