Your face is a jimmy john
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
