He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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