Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
