I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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