did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
