Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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