GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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