You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
