he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
