Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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