it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
