Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
