end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I faked an abortion last night.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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