Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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