Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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