Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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