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What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
